“You sound like my father.”
That was enough to shut him up. My husband hates being compared to my father. But really, he sounded just like him. Dad’s favorite thing to say to me when I sit down to watch my soaps is, “How can an educated, intelligent woman sit still for such tripe?” Shawn had just said much the same thing to me. My usual response is, “Because I like them.”
I’ve tried explaining that they are like novels that never end and that continually introduce new characters. I’ve tried explaining that they make me laugh with their ridiculousness at times. I’ve tried explaining that they are my “down time” during the day, when I can just be mindless and I don’t have to be smart or “on” (that one never works; I have a reputation for expending a great deal of mental energy analyzing the storylines and character development of soaps, sometimes publishing some of my findings in academic journals, so that argument doesn’t usually go over very well.) After nearly 40 years of watching these perpetual novels, though, I have given up trying to explain it to those around me who do not understand. I now simply say, “I’m watching. Deal with it.”
I know all the marks against them. I know that their storylines can be downright ridiculous. I know that the characters are often baffling, and that the acting is sometimes really bad. I once made a list of those things that drive the “uninitiated” away:
· Convenient attacks of amnesia, and recoveries timed to coincide with ratings “sweeps” periods;
· Melodramatic death scenes, often that are over-the-top; also, many (some would say too many) instances of characters who disappear after an accident, are declared dead, and return later (usually after Pilot Season in Los Angeles is over);
· Convenient moments of eavesdropping, hearing the absolute wrong thing, and then acting on misinformation that often leads to misunderstandings (at best) or tragedy (at worst);
· Dramatic pauses, timed for commercial breaks or weekends;
· Weddings interrupted at the altar with last-minute confessions;
· Constant paternity questions; often, on a single soap, there might be no child ever conceived of two parents who loved each other and were in an exclusive, loving, supportive relationship;
· Constant near-confessions, followed by , first, a commercial break, then an interruption (phone, doorbell, whatever), then, a change of heart and lame-sounding (to everyone except the person on the screen listening) excuse to cover up and mislead;
· Lies, lies, and more lies (no one in Soap Opera Land every tells the truth the first time);
· Character who “die,” only to return later (no one ever really dies in Soap Opera Land). This is separate from the annoyance described above about unrecovered bodies because when the story was actually written, the character really dies; following many years and, perhaps, the change of the head writer, though, the character is mysteriously brought back to life;
· And time that stretches and changes to accommodate a storyline; for example, a pregnancy that lasts for 12 months, or a school year that begins in October (this one was famously spoofed by that wonderful satire from the late 70s/early 80s, Soap).
My friend Robin and I began calling it Soap Opera Land to distinguish it from reality. Things happen there that are not possible in Real Life. Soap Opera Land is a place where the Physical Properties of the Universe Hold No Sway. (We did the same thing for watching “Star Trek,” only we called it “Definitions,” such as, a “Class M planet” means: “Looks like California.”) In order to watch and actually enjoy soap operas, therefore, one must have no qualms or hesitations about indulging in a healthy dose of what Coleridge called a “willing suspension of disbelief.” Men in general (who are represented here by my husband and my father) and all those other non-believers out there are missing this key ingredient, without which it is impossible to enjoy the genre. Next time: Why suspending disbelief is fun!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
GLOBAL THINKING WOMEN.
ARIZONA THINKING WOMEN have become GLOBAL THINKING WOMEN.
You may have noticed that our name has changed. At a meeting at the end of August it was decided to make our name more inclusive, so we chose “Global Thinking Women.” We considered just plain, “Thinking Women” but others had beaten us to the punch on that one! We are in the midst of writing up our goals and objectives, and will share them once they are solidified. In the meantime, we hope you appreciate our new moniker as a sign of our deep desire to reach out to thinking women everywhere!
You may have noticed that our name has changed. At a meeting at the end of August it was decided to make our name more inclusive, so we chose “Global Thinking Women.” We considered just plain, “Thinking Women” but others had beaten us to the punch on that one! We are in the midst of writing up our goals and objectives, and will share them once they are solidified. In the meantime, we hope you appreciate our new moniker as a sign of our deep desire to reach out to thinking women everywhere!
Foods To Help You Catch Enough Z’s...by Mary Powell
Ben Franklin once said “Fatigue is the best pillow.” But what if you are fatigued and still can’t get to sleep? There are a few healthy snacks that can help you overcome this dilemma.
According to the Sleep Aid Center, there are ten foods that aid in obtaining a healthy night’s rest. Warm milk contains tryptophan - an amino acid that acts as a sedative, as well as calcium, which helps the brain use the tryptophan. Turkey also has tryptophan, which triggers that sleepy feeling after a delicious Thanksgiving meal. Honey allows the brain to stop producing Orexin, a neurotransmitter that makes our brains alert. Try mixing some honey in a cup of chamomile tea before bedtime and you should feel sleepy. Other sleep aid foods are bananas, which contain serotonin, melatonin and magnesium; magnesium aids in muscle relaxation. Whole wheat bread, flaxseed, almonds and potatoes also aid in a good night’s rest. If you are watching your diet; however, you will not want to eat carbohydrates within three hours before bedtime as it is more difficult to burn these off while you are inactive.
The Sleep Aid Center states that spicy foods, caffeine and alcohol should all be avoided near bedtime. Although alcohol can make a person feel drowsy, it can cause sleepers to reawaken several times during the night.
There are people who brag that they don’t need much sleep; however, lack of sleep can cause devastating health consequences. Researchers, at the University of Chicago, have found a connection between deep sleep deprivation and Type 2 diabetes. As well, people gain weight from lack of sleep as Leptin and Grehlin are hormones that help the body maintain a stable body weight. When a person does not obtain enough sleep, levels of Grehlin increase, causing a greater appetite, while levels of Leptin, an appetite suppressant, decrease. This can actually lead to obesity over time (Sleep Aid Center).
So despite forewarnings about eating before bed time, do not hesitate to feast on a small piece of turkey, sip a cup of chamomile with honey, or have a handful of nuts before bedtime. Those snacks may aid in eradicating insomnia, along with type 2 diabetes and weight gain.
Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of careThe death of each day's life, sore labour's bathBalm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,Chief nourisher in life's feast.
William Shakespeare, Macbeth
According to the Sleep Aid Center, there are ten foods that aid in obtaining a healthy night’s rest. Warm milk contains tryptophan - an amino acid that acts as a sedative, as well as calcium, which helps the brain use the tryptophan. Turkey also has tryptophan, which triggers that sleepy feeling after a delicious Thanksgiving meal. Honey allows the brain to stop producing Orexin, a neurotransmitter that makes our brains alert. Try mixing some honey in a cup of chamomile tea before bedtime and you should feel sleepy. Other sleep aid foods are bananas, which contain serotonin, melatonin and magnesium; magnesium aids in muscle relaxation. Whole wheat bread, flaxseed, almonds and potatoes also aid in a good night’s rest. If you are watching your diet; however, you will not want to eat carbohydrates within three hours before bedtime as it is more difficult to burn these off while you are inactive.
The Sleep Aid Center states that spicy foods, caffeine and alcohol should all be avoided near bedtime. Although alcohol can make a person feel drowsy, it can cause sleepers to reawaken several times during the night.
There are people who brag that they don’t need much sleep; however, lack of sleep can cause devastating health consequences. Researchers, at the University of Chicago, have found a connection between deep sleep deprivation and Type 2 diabetes. As well, people gain weight from lack of sleep as Leptin and Grehlin are hormones that help the body maintain a stable body weight. When a person does not obtain enough sleep, levels of Grehlin increase, causing a greater appetite, while levels of Leptin, an appetite suppressant, decrease. This can actually lead to obesity over time (Sleep Aid Center).
So despite forewarnings about eating before bed time, do not hesitate to feast on a small piece of turkey, sip a cup of chamomile with honey, or have a handful of nuts before bedtime. Those snacks may aid in eradicating insomnia, along with type 2 diabetes and weight gain.
Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of careThe death of each day's life, sore labour's bathBalm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,Chief nourisher in life's feast.
William Shakespeare, Macbeth
Just Breathe by Kim Eagles
Breathing correctly affects our ability to maintain good health. Who knew that every breath we take impacts our brain, acts as a stress reducer, prevents mental sluggishness, and assists in good digestion and physical endurance?
Interestingly, during the recent 2008 Olympics in Beijing China announcers would elaborate and give specific details about the athlete’s performance, technique, conditioning and mastery of their individual sport. More importantly, they talked extensively about how controlling the breath was just as essential to their performance as perfecting their sporting abilities was. For some of those champions, effective breathing made the difference between winning a medal or not placing in the top three in their event. Proper breathing is also extremely important to those of us who, perhaps, are not so Olympian in our physical abilities! According to Yoga experts, breathing is important for several reasons. It is the only means to give our bodies and our various organs the supply of oxygen vital to our survival, as well as get rid of waste products and toxins. Oxygen is the most vital nutrient our bodies need. It is essential for the integrity of the brain and our nervous system. If our brain doesn't get enough good oxygen, the results are mental sluggishness, negative thoughts and depression. If our deprivation continues, eventually vision and hearing may decline. Older individuals and those whose arteries are clogged often suffer from senility as a result of oxygen deprivation to the brain. Poor oxygen supply affects all parts of the body. We feel tired, nervous, and irritable. Generally, in this state we are not very productive. It may also cause us to sleep badly at night; in addition, it lowers functioning of the immune system, making us susceptible to catching colds, flu, and other bugs.
In an article called “Keep Breathing” posted on a Respiratory Therapy blog, the author explains a bit more about the effect of breathing on our well-being: “… The truth is that breathing goes further beyond other body functions in that we can voluntarily control it. Most body functions are essential, but it’s very difficult to control the rate or speed at which blood is filtered through for good digestion. But breathing! It’s a simple matter of brain power to inhale deeply, hold your breath for a moment, and let it go. The ability to control your breathing (to an extent) gives you a lot of power over yourself. Next time you’re stressed out, stop yourself and take in a very deep breath. Fill your lungs until they feel like they’re going to explode. Close your eyes, hold it for a moment, and slowly let it out through pursed lips. Repeat this exercises a few times, making sure to breathe deeply and slowly. I can’t make you any promises, but I bet you feel a little more relaxed” (http://keepbreathing.wordpress.com). Obviously, the positive affects of breathing are far reaching. This essential, natural, bodily function is expressed deeply throughout our lifetime. We may hear the power of our breath in love songs to denote emotional affection; in tests of physical endurance; in our anticipation of a baby’s first breath; or in saying goodbye to a loved one as she expels one final breath at the end of her life. We’d be wise to remember that our next breath is not promised to us. So, let’s breathe in life as a gift, and consider our breath for its therapeutic and healing attributes every single day.
Interestingly, during the recent 2008 Olympics in Beijing China announcers would elaborate and give specific details about the athlete’s performance, technique, conditioning and mastery of their individual sport. More importantly, they talked extensively about how controlling the breath was just as essential to their performance as perfecting their sporting abilities was. For some of those champions, effective breathing made the difference between winning a medal or not placing in the top three in their event. Proper breathing is also extremely important to those of us who, perhaps, are not so Olympian in our physical abilities! According to Yoga experts, breathing is important for several reasons. It is the only means to give our bodies and our various organs the supply of oxygen vital to our survival, as well as get rid of waste products and toxins. Oxygen is the most vital nutrient our bodies need. It is essential for the integrity of the brain and our nervous system. If our brain doesn't get enough good oxygen, the results are mental sluggishness, negative thoughts and depression. If our deprivation continues, eventually vision and hearing may decline. Older individuals and those whose arteries are clogged often suffer from senility as a result of oxygen deprivation to the brain. Poor oxygen supply affects all parts of the body. We feel tired, nervous, and irritable. Generally, in this state we are not very productive. It may also cause us to sleep badly at night; in addition, it lowers functioning of the immune system, making us susceptible to catching colds, flu, and other bugs.
In an article called “Keep Breathing” posted on a Respiratory Therapy blog, the author explains a bit more about the effect of breathing on our well-being: “… The truth is that breathing goes further beyond other body functions in that we can voluntarily control it. Most body functions are essential, but it’s very difficult to control the rate or speed at which blood is filtered through for good digestion. But breathing! It’s a simple matter of brain power to inhale deeply, hold your breath for a moment, and let it go. The ability to control your breathing (to an extent) gives you a lot of power over yourself. Next time you’re stressed out, stop yourself and take in a very deep breath. Fill your lungs until they feel like they’re going to explode. Close your eyes, hold it for a moment, and slowly let it out through pursed lips. Repeat this exercises a few times, making sure to breathe deeply and slowly. I can’t make you any promises, but I bet you feel a little more relaxed” (http://keepbreathing.wordpress.com). Obviously, the positive affects of breathing are far reaching. This essential, natural, bodily function is expressed deeply throughout our lifetime. We may hear the power of our breath in love songs to denote emotional affection; in tests of physical endurance; in our anticipation of a baby’s first breath; or in saying goodbye to a loved one as she expels one final breath at the end of her life. We’d be wise to remember that our next breath is not promised to us. So, let’s breathe in life as a gift, and consider our breath for its therapeutic and healing attributes every single day.
September, for me, is a time of new beginnings. From the Editor
As a kid I loved September because the days started to cool, leaves on maple and oak trees began to change color, the air took on a moist earthy tang, and a new school year began.
This month Global Thinking Women are reflecting on the subject of rest and rejuvenation. Knowing that my tendency is to overfill my cup in terms of commitments and responsibilities, it seems to appropriate to consider the real need to remind myself that just as the ocean ebbs and flows, so should my life. As human beings, we need rest. We need down time to care for our weary bodies and minds. We need peace and quiet to contemplate our spirituality and our place in the world. We cannot always be crashing like waves onto the shore; we also need to pull back, re-group, and reassess, prior to rushing forward again.
Now that I teach college, September is typically the beginning of a new academic year with all of its attendant flurry and frenzy. I always have more to do that there are hours in the day; however, a part of me enjoys the frantic aspect of the preparations, the excitement of meeting new students, and the freshness of the young minds I encounter as another year begins. The trick is to remember to incorporate time for rest into this new and exciting time. Even if it is just planning a lunch with a friend allowing yourself time to sit and talk about the detritus of life, or making time to lay in bed with a good book, doing so allows your mind to wander to new places and find sustenance in the process. We must remember that in order to be able to work and play at our optimum energy and capability, rest and renewal are crucial. Our bodies need time to dream and time to rest.
This month, let’s take time to breathe in the beauty of life. Slow down. Take a nap. Sit with a cup of green tea and read from a book of poems by Rilke or Langston Hughes or Theodore Roethke. Sleep on the couch, snuggled up with the love of your life. Admire the lovely fluff of your cat’s tail.
Slow down and savor your life.
This month Global Thinking Women are reflecting on the subject of rest and rejuvenation. Knowing that my tendency is to overfill my cup in terms of commitments and responsibilities, it seems to appropriate to consider the real need to remind myself that just as the ocean ebbs and flows, so should my life. As human beings, we need rest. We need down time to care for our weary bodies and minds. We need peace and quiet to contemplate our spirituality and our place in the world. We cannot always be crashing like waves onto the shore; we also need to pull back, re-group, and reassess, prior to rushing forward again.
Now that I teach college, September is typically the beginning of a new academic year with all of its attendant flurry and frenzy. I always have more to do that there are hours in the day; however, a part of me enjoys the frantic aspect of the preparations, the excitement of meeting new students, and the freshness of the young minds I encounter as another year begins. The trick is to remember to incorporate time for rest into this new and exciting time. Even if it is just planning a lunch with a friend allowing yourself time to sit and talk about the detritus of life, or making time to lay in bed with a good book, doing so allows your mind to wander to new places and find sustenance in the process. We must remember that in order to be able to work and play at our optimum energy and capability, rest and renewal are crucial. Our bodies need time to dream and time to rest.
This month, let’s take time to breathe in the beauty of life. Slow down. Take a nap. Sit with a cup of green tea and read from a book of poems by Rilke or Langston Hughes or Theodore Roethke. Sleep on the couch, snuggled up with the love of your life. Admire the lovely fluff of your cat’s tail.
Slow down and savor your life.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Inspiration: Gratitude Journals
Inspiration: Gratitude Journals
by Shavawn M. Berry
There is something very cathartic about acknowledging the blessings we have. Writing about what we truly appreciate about our circumstances, even when they are challenging, is the first step to finding a calm, centered place of peace inside ourselves. It allows us to truly see our fortune as human beings. Focusing on developing and maintaining an “attitude of gratitude,” does wonders for our ability to see how truly wonderful (full of wonder) our lives are.
Starting a gratitude journal is simple. Get yourself a pretty notebook and cover it with pictures of things you love. Buy a series of colorful pens to write with. If you are like me and you prefer to type your journal entries rather than write longhand, you can create a word document that you add to each day, or use journaling software (like Life Journal, www.lifejournal.com ) that is available for purchase. Once you have your journal, choose a time of day (evening often works well in terms of reflection) in which to write about what you are grateful for. Each day try to list a minimum of five things that make you glad you are alive. On some days discovering what you are thankful for will be easy.
On more difficult days, you may simply write things like, “I am thankful for the challenge of my illness, my anger, or my grief.”
It is relatively easy to be grateful for the victories in our lives, but there are gifts inside our sorrows and losses as well.
Whether we’ve won the lottery or not, we have reason to be thankful. And when we offer up our grateful hearts, we make room for more abundance, love, and sustenance to come our way. Gratitude is absolutely crucial. Why should Spirit shower us with more if we cannot even see what we already have? Each one of us has a plethora of reasons to give thanks. That is why keeping a gratitude journal can be a life-altering experience. Writing down all the ways in which you are truly blessed will transform your life. Try it.
You will be amazed.
by Shavawn M. Berry
There is something very cathartic about acknowledging the blessings we have. Writing about what we truly appreciate about our circumstances, even when they are challenging, is the first step to finding a calm, centered place of peace inside ourselves. It allows us to truly see our fortune as human beings. Focusing on developing and maintaining an “attitude of gratitude,” does wonders for our ability to see how truly wonderful (full of wonder) our lives are.
Starting a gratitude journal is simple. Get yourself a pretty notebook and cover it with pictures of things you love. Buy a series of colorful pens to write with. If you are like me and you prefer to type your journal entries rather than write longhand, you can create a word document that you add to each day, or use journaling software (like Life Journal, www.lifejournal.com ) that is available for purchase. Once you have your journal, choose a time of day (evening often works well in terms of reflection) in which to write about what you are grateful for. Each day try to list a minimum of five things that make you glad you are alive. On some days discovering what you are thankful for will be easy.
On more difficult days, you may simply write things like, “I am thankful for the challenge of my illness, my anger, or my grief.”
It is relatively easy to be grateful for the victories in our lives, but there are gifts inside our sorrows and losses as well.
Whether we’ve won the lottery or not, we have reason to be thankful. And when we offer up our grateful hearts, we make room for more abundance, love, and sustenance to come our way. Gratitude is absolutely crucial. Why should Spirit shower us with more if we cannot even see what we already have? Each one of us has a plethora of reasons to give thanks. That is why keeping a gratitude journal can be a life-altering experience. Writing down all the ways in which you are truly blessed will transform your life. Try it.
You will be amazed.
The Importance of Nurturing Ourselves by Shavawn M. Berry
The Importance of Nurturing Ourselves
This month’s issue of Arizona Thinking Women focuses on the very important issue of self care. It is difficult, if not impossible to continually care for others, if we do not care for ourselves. As women, we are often taught to give everything away – our tenderness, ideas, hard work, passion, love, and our ability to nurture others. We sometimes do this at the expense of our own health. We must learn to strike a balance between caring for our own lives, and caring for our children, husbands, partners, parents and friends in order to have the energy needed to care for others.
Self care comes in a myriad of forms. For some of us (ok, me) this takes the form of solitude and down time. For others a trip to see a matinee, a half hour work out, or the ability to get out of the house to sit in Starbucks and have a cup of coffee and write in one’s journal might do the trick. We may need a trip to our church, mosque or synagogue. A yoga or spin class might offer relief. There are as many different ways to relax, unwind, and lay down our burdens as there are people on the planet. Meditation, prayer, talking with close friends, sharing a bottle of wine…the possibilities are limitless as long as we do not limit them by thinking that taking any time for ourselves is selfish.
To help us to assess if we have over-extended ourselves and need to take a step back, visit http://www.myselfcare.org/self.htm (www.myselfcare.org). Perhaps there are clues in the assessment that will allow us to see the areas where we may need to increase our efforts at self care, so that we can continue to deftly handle our personal, emotional, physical, and vocational responsibilities.
In this issue we have addressed nutrition, skin care, travel, meditation, self knowledge, and the value of developing and maintaining an “attitude of gratitude.”
Every day I wake up and consider how lucky I am as a woman living in the luminous state of Arizona, one of the most beautiful, energetically vibrant places on the planet.
Let’s take care of ourselves this month! We deserve it.
This month’s issue of Arizona Thinking Women focuses on the very important issue of self care. It is difficult, if not impossible to continually care for others, if we do not care for ourselves. As women, we are often taught to give everything away – our tenderness, ideas, hard work, passion, love, and our ability to nurture others. We sometimes do this at the expense of our own health. We must learn to strike a balance between caring for our own lives, and caring for our children, husbands, partners, parents and friends in order to have the energy needed to care for others.
Self care comes in a myriad of forms. For some of us (ok, me) this takes the form of solitude and down time. For others a trip to see a matinee, a half hour work out, or the ability to get out of the house to sit in Starbucks and have a cup of coffee and write in one’s journal might do the trick. We may need a trip to our church, mosque or synagogue. A yoga or spin class might offer relief. There are as many different ways to relax, unwind, and lay down our burdens as there are people on the planet. Meditation, prayer, talking with close friends, sharing a bottle of wine…the possibilities are limitless as long as we do not limit them by thinking that taking any time for ourselves is selfish.
To help us to assess if we have over-extended ourselves and need to take a step back, visit http://www.myselfcare.org/self.htm (www.myselfcare.org). Perhaps there are clues in the assessment that will allow us to see the areas where we may need to increase our efforts at self care, so that we can continue to deftly handle our personal, emotional, physical, and vocational responsibilities.
In this issue we have addressed nutrition, skin care, travel, meditation, self knowledge, and the value of developing and maintaining an “attitude of gratitude.”
Every day I wake up and consider how lucky I am as a woman living in the luminous state of Arizona, one of the most beautiful, energetically vibrant places on the planet.
Let’s take care of ourselves this month! We deserve it.
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